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INtegr8 – Befriending Story for Website/Newsletters – July 2010
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Emma & Laura |
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Emma was referred to the Befriending Service in October 2008, by her Youth Justice worker. She was 15 at the time, and had already faced and overcome some very major challenges in her life, as well as ending behaviour that had previously resulted in her getting into trouble. She was very isolated, being new to the Livingston area, and also because she attended school in a different geographical area. There was a lack of opportunity to participate in activities, and Emma had no peers in the vicinity. Befriending was seen to be a service which would ‘allow further growth for Emma in a positive way’ together with the provision of a trusted adult who could support her, listen to her and encourage her to participate in social & recreational activities. |
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Emma engaged in the assessment process very reluctantly. She had her hood up, and head down, and avoided eye contact through most of the meeting. Her answers to questions in the assessment were very short and abrupt, and often accompanied by shrugs. Recently, Emma admitted that she only gave Befriending a try because her mum ‘made her’.
 In January 2009, Emma was matched with her Befriender, Laura. They worked hard at building their relationship, and overcoming hurdles along the way. Together, they tried activities such as skiing, and attending Irish Dance classes. They visited drop-ins for young people, and ate out at different places, as well as pairing up with other Befrienders and Befriendees for joint activities. During her time with INtegr8, Emma also completed a Get Into Work programme, carried out work experience and opened a bank account – all encouraged, supported and cheered on by Laura.
In October 2009, during West Lothian Youth Action Project’s Annual General Meeting, Emma & Laura stifled their nervousness and stood up in front of around 200 delegates including West Lothian Council’s Chief Executive, and shared their experiences of Befriending. Although Laura did the talking, Emma had written out her contribution and this was the first time that a young person from the Befriending Service had found the courage to stand up in front of a large audience. Recently, in June 2010 Emma & Laura were ‘guests of honour’ at the final session of INtegr8’s latest Befriender Induction Training Programme. They put themselves in the hot seat, in order for new trainees to quiz and question them on what befriending is and how it can make a difference to all concerned. The session was incredibly successful, and in contrast to her assessment meeting, Emma had so much to say and share, that we had to cut her short after their time slot had run 15 minutes over!
Emma and Laura have become firm friends. In line with the limits of the service, achieving the project’s objectives and the development of a personal friendship, an end date has now been set. Emma is excited about this. To her, no longer having a Befriender means:
“It will be better. Me and Laura can be friends and have less limitations on our relationship. She can come to my Halloween Party!”
Emma says:
“I started working with Laura in January 2009. It has been a lot of fun. We have done lots of things together. I have lots of confidence since working with Laura.
It was scary at first. I wasn’t sure what kind of person Laura was and I was scared in case she was a stuck up posh person (but I found out she wasn’t!).
I really enjoyed working with Laura. We have done things like going to the cinema, going out for something to eat and going to M&Ds. It’s good getting to do things my mum can’t take me to do, so it’s good I get out and get to do these things”.
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Laura says:
“Working with Emma has been a fantastic experience for me. I would recommend Befriending to everyone. I have got so much out of it.
It was really scary at first. I had just finished the training and we got matched really quickly. It was fun reading Emma’s profile and imagining what this young person I was about to spend so much time with would be like. Then I thought about what might happen when I was with Emma, just the two of us, and I was worried that I would make a mistake or say the wrong thing. The first time I met her was exciting but I was nervous – what if she didn’t like me or we had nothing to talk about! That’s when I realised how important it was that Angie got the matching right. And she definitely had for us!
Once I started getting to know the real Emma – the one underneath all the initial shyness - it became really good fun and I found myself looking forward to our meetings. Being around Emma really lifts my spirits. She’s such an amazing, happy and bubbly person, and it’s been a real privilege for me to get to know that part of her.
It’s not all been easy and going out doing fun things. We’ve had some hard things that we’ve had to work through together, but coming through those times has given us a really strong bond. I like to think that Emma sees me as someone she can talk to about anything, and someone who is reliable and she can depend on.
Since starting working together, Emma has taken part in a Get Ready for Work scheme, where she completed a placement at local dog kennels. I was so proud of her – especially when it was pouring with rain and she still turned up for work to walk the dogs outside all day long. She’s just been accepted into college for a Business Management course and I know that she’s going to do brilliantly. We’re about to stop our befriending relationship but we have both agreed that we want to continue seeing one another regularly. I can’t wait to hear how the next chapter turns out for Emma.
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